TIT'S ONLY ROCK 'N' ROLL
LISA DOMINIQUE's temper is truly an ugly sight to behold Sniffing loudly, she turns on a petulant heel and stamps towards the sound desk, her face like thunder...
"Can't you take the boom off it," She barks at an harassed engineer.Flustered, the humble one makes excuses for Lisa's naturally out-of-tune voice and busies herself in a desperate attempt at some heavy audio camouflage. Behind her, Lisa's mum is Keeping a watchful eye, clucking away mercilessly that her daughter's voice should be breathier. Lisa, cither unaware or unperturbed that we can here declares:
"There's no fucking point soundcheckin', she don't know what she's doin'."
At last she's happy, and her support band, DANGEROUS, are allowed all the privilege of a fifteen minute soundcheck. A roadie with a sick sense of humour hums "Make It With Meccano" as they struggle with the drum kit. The Dominique scenario trundles on.
Lisa is twenty-six years old, a Taurus, bleaches her hair and uses a sun-bed twice a week. She works out, watches her diet and reads Company and Cosmopolitan. A regular bird. Having been around the block for seven years or so, she has released two albums Rock N' Roll Lady and Gypsy Ryder, few have liked both, the majority have liked neither.
Lisa has her own theories.
She laughs almost embarrassed.
Lisa has her own theories.
"l read my reviews in the press and think, 'What is your problem? You ever get laid? Do you have a sex life?' Maybe that's it. Maybe they're not getting enough sex. Maybe they can't stand seeing a woman having a great time and being successful as well. It's nothing to do with my looks either, they say if you have a good sex life, then you're a happy person, and, as you can see, I'm really miserable."She gives a fake schoolgirlish giggle and continues.
"The press have chosen to have a go at me, 'cos I'm a girl and unfortunately all women in rock get a hard time 'cos we're living in a man's world. Certain people would love to have written me off a long time ago, and, unfortunately for them, they haven't been able to."Whether or not she is genuinely convinced that randy writers with frustrated libidos have a personal vendetta against her, or she's just ignoring the truth that the only woman in rock that get a hard time are the ones that are crap. Lisa has, to her absolute credit, survived unanimous ridicule, almost to the extent of the hilarious, and certainly to the extent of the predictable. So much so, that for none of the criticism to have seeped through, she is either incredibly thick-skinned or completely deluded regarding her competence as an artist.
"I think CHER has the right attitude. When you have that platinum disc on your wall, you can say, 'Fuck you!' To all the people that don't really like you. I am now well on my way to being really big, but I don't have that big hit yet, but I'll get it, I'm definitely going to have a gold album within the next two years and a platinum one in the next three."Rock N' Roll Lady has sold 800 copies in the UK, but Lisa claims 13,000. Such discrepancies do not instil confidence in her vision of the truth. Indeed, Lisa's vision of the truth is a strange thing. Strange too is the steady flow of musicians through the "Dominique finishing school for apprentice plumbers," Lisa and Marino being the only two constant factors, and by her own admission, she has lost count of the temporary appendages.
"I used to get really upset when I'd see good musicians start off well in the band and then something happened, their career just went down the drain."What, like Myke Grey?
She laughs almost embarrassed.
"Ooh, Myke did me a favour, he filled in for a few gigs. No, but honestly, some people are in a band for kicks and some people do it because they want to make it. There's one guy who kept drinking so much that he turned up drunk at sound checks, and his guitar would go out of tune. I warned him and warned him and in the end we just had to sack him."Gypsy Ryder, then, is the new effort produced by David Prater of recent FIREHOUSE note and guested on by Glen Burtnick (new STYX guitarist). It's in a similar vein to its predecessor, but poppier. Lisa, despite her protests to the contrary, is chasing the top 40 shamelessly.
"I wrote half of it in America, which I think is far more inspiring than England. It came really easy to me, and if people don't like it then they won't like the next one either. This is a blueprint for the future and I've already started writing the songs for the next album. I think they're great. When I was working with David Prater, the first thing that he picked up on was that I'd only have to do one or two takes in tune before I got something right. Glen wrote, 'You Can't Replace My Face,' for me, and that ones dedicated to all my critics cause they can say what they want, but keeping printing my face sells their magazines, and I'll always be here as long as they do that."
Smiling her sickly smile she continues:
"My loyal fans are great. They never let me down, and I hope I never let them down, but it was good to be out of England 'cos in America they see England as no big deal. They hadn't seen any reviews or my picture, they'd only heard the songs. It's no longer credible to have a hit in the UK. You sell more records in places like Germany, and the audiences there are more into rock n' roll. The UK is not important."
The entourage Lisa chooses surround herself with is an alarming affair. Hubby, Michael manages, brother Marino plays lead guitar, and of course Mum is always there to keep a watchful eye. Our chanteuse is neatly cocooned from any one likely to offer a few home truths. Her voice, often the subject of many a titter, is something that she is very definite about.
"I would rate myself as a good singer. When I hear myself on record, I think that I don't sound like anyone else, and my technique and my style are certainly better than good, and having your own individual sound is far more important than being able to actually do anything with your voice. I am showing other girls that you can have a strong image and the ability to make it and be credible at the same time. The press tried to make me out not to be credible but I think I am. SAM FOX isn't, but I work far too hard not to be. Besides Sam Fox is a page three girl."
Page three girl or not, Samantha Fox's appeal as a prick tease, is at least honest. As an ex-beautician, Lisa knows all the tricks, and her allure is far more cheap perfume and hairspray than pheromones. Her sullen pout owes more to a liberal dose of Revlon's 'Pink Cafe' than endowment with nature's collagen. Her bra is a phenomenon of engineering, creating an illusion of something that does not exist. White plastic and peroxide blonde, as well as flat chested!
The show at the Marquee that night, the ultimate in naaf cabaret, has a crowd of 400. Lisa's talk of the kids who came to hear her is slightly misaimed, as the most approval comes from her bending down to reveal another inch of her cleavage. After seven years of gigging and two LP's, it's quite hard to believe that she can be satisfied with far-from-capacity audiences at a venue, which at a squeeze holds 900. Sniffing and stomping her way through a truly unremarkable and instantly forgettable set, her voice has no strength, no passion, no emotion. Marino's guitar solos are truly appalling. But, hey it doesn't matter, she makes a living.
Marilla Biellock
Riff Raff
August 1991
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