Album Review: Scorpions, "Rock Believer"

If you even think of buying the standard version of the new SCORPIONS album, you’d best stop yourself before doing something foolish. I posted a link to a song called “Shoot for Your Heart” on a twitter thread, and minutes later, someone responded by saying that the guitar solos was so good, it alone was enough for him to go out and buy the CD. The only problem is that “Shoot for Your Heart” is only on the two-disc “deluxe version” of Rock Believer. In what I think is a truly idiotic move, the main eleven tracks of the new Scorpions album (the “official version” of the album) are on the first disc, which is 44 minutes long, and the five extra tracks, one of which is just an acoustic version of one of the songs from the first disc, are on the 19 minute long second disc. That’s 63 minutes of music that could all have fitted on one CD; 67 if the American and European version included Japanese bonus track “Out Go the Lights.” 

As janky as that sounds, I still spent $25 on the “deluxe version” only to find out that the paltry three panel foldout digipak didn’t even put the discs on trays but in little slits in the foldout, which increases the chances of scratching up the CDs every time you remove them to play if you’re not extra careful. The packaging itself doesn’t include anything other than a chintzy lyric book with a few band photos and the Scorpions logo stretched across the three panel foldout. How lame. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I LOVE THE ALBUM AND PLAY IT OFTEN!!!

That’s right; I enjoy the new Scorpions album a lot. First of all – and this cannot be overstated – at the advanced age of 73, Klaus Meine sounds exactly like the young man who sang the lead vocals on the Scorpions’ debut album, Lonesome Crow, way back in 1972. He still has all of the charisma, exuberance, and ability to flawlessly hit the notes that he did when he first sang “I’m going mad!” fifty years ago; and he’s still got the adorable, right-off-the-boat German accent as well.  

Secondly, and probably less expectedly, Meine, rhythm guitarist Rudolf Schenker, lead guitarist Matthias Jabs, and some Polish guy on bass, along with new drummer Mikkey Dee, who played with KING DIAMOND and MOTORHEAD, seem to have gone back to their pre-arena rock, pre-pop metal, 70s hard-rock-bordering-on-metal style of the Uli Jon Roth and early Matthias Jabs era; especially if you compare it to their previous album, Return to Forever, which is fulla big choruses and pop hooks, and has an overall 80s sound. I’ll even go so far as to make the bold claim that, song for song, Rock Believer is more enjoyable than classic Scorpions albums like In Trance or Lovedrive, which are marred by either too many ballads or a couple of pointless filler tracks. 

The only ballad on Rock Believer is “When You Know (Where You Came From)”, which unfortunately is included twice, in its regular and acoustic form. Otherwise the album knocks out three energetic rockers in a row before it even thinks of slowing down; at which point, the energy is sapped by a title track which is enough to make me a rock nonbeliever and thus shall never be mentioned again. On the other hand, the opening track, “Gas in the Tank”, has a righteous Motörhead reference (“we’re born to lose, we live to win”), probably as a way to welcome new drummer Mikkey Dee, who, among other things, has one of the best drum sounds in metal.

What’s really a trip, though, is how “Shining of Your Soul” is a total callback to the reggae/rock hybrid “Is There Anybody There?” from Lovedrive,  and “Seventh Sun” evokes the heavy and plodding “China White” from Blackout with a thumping “Runnin’ with the Devil” style bassline and dark, eerie, and even cosmic mood. Then you have a lotta rockers, such as the swingin’ “Roots in My Boots”, which opens with a BO DIDDLEY style drum beat, “Hot and Cold”, which is just your classic “jah-jigga-jah-jigga” galloping metal tune, “Call of the Wild”, which sounds like a MONTROSE song, “When I Lay My Bones to Rest”, which kicks my ass through my face with its punky three minute CHUCK BERRY boogie rock and lovely chorus, and “Out Go the Lights”, which is only on the Japanese version GODDAMMIT!!! 

Sadly “Peacemaker” is not a tribute to the Colt brand revolver that was so popular with cowboys. Alas, it’s just about bringing peace to the world or some shit. We all know it would be a lot cooler if it was about Wild West gunslingers; ya know, like “Shoot You in the Back” by Mikkey Dee’s old band. Thankfully “Crossing Borders” isn’t a political statement about immigration but just a metaphor for doin’ it with a chick! 

Is it the chick on the cover? I dunno. Other than the better production, Rock Believer easily sounds like vintage Scorpions, and a less schooled ear wouldn’t even be able to pick out the new tunes from ones from four to five decades ago. The Scorpions were there from the beginnings of this whole hard rock and heavy metal thing, and they can still crank out better riffs, solos, and, well, songs than many newer bands jumping onto this half-century old musical genre. 

I don’t know if that’s such a good thing.

Edwin Oslan
Revenge of Riff Raff
20th March, 2022

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